so many things going on in my head now.
have u ever wondered about.. life? its a difficult qn. and not many of us can answer. what do we want to do with our lives. is it impt? are we wasting our lives away by what we are doing at the moment? i juz had a talk with my dad. apparently he's concerned with my attitude. not fulfilling my potential. and should start setting a goal for myself and start working towards it. instead of straying aimlessly along. does that help? he asked me a tough qn. at the end of ur life. what would u have done if u had deemed ur life as a success. not many people my age would be thinking about this kinda cheem stuff. most would be thinking of the next step. which poly/jc i would like to go to. wut i would like to do den. yet alone U and what job u want to take in the future. i figure its called immediate concerns. looking at the bigger pic is necessary i guess. but we tend to focus ourselves on what we enjoy rather den the task at hand. i only think it is natural.
dun u feel its unfair sometimes. jobs or vocations are supposed to be enjoyed by the individual. each individual has diff talents. diff tastes. diff likings. ttz the beauty of it. but still by doing diff jobs. though we all serve a purpose penultimately. we get diff pays/ salaries. working hours. social status. and yahdidadada. my father termed it very smartly as teh knowledge based economies. where we get paid more if we used our brains more den we use our hands and feets. the importance of skilled labour. in this world. is so impt indeed.
should i be money minded? chase a career in engineering. which i am capable of. or should i ignore the world of luxuries. and enjoy the finer and simpler things in life. i have to make a choice. and soon i guess. meanwhile. try and appease my mum. not making her pissed. study? tall order. essential i figure. oh well -shrugs-
quite irritating. i cant go for prayer and praise. which would be like the highlight of my week. have to stay at home cuz my dad's friends from harvard ( he took a course there last sept) are here. a german and his family and others i tink. not too sure. THUS i have to miss this session. so sad. looks like tmr is juz me and the thick blue book. ah well. compromises i guess. today went sentosa. wilfred's bday. din look very bright with all the clouds and stuff. and it was like lightly drizzling the whole day. we had a bday cake for wilfred too. which was nice. =) but. still managed to play some beach volleyball. touch rugby. which was good=) the rest went canoeing. and swimming. but i was juz contented to bum with the others. normal i guess. it would be MILES better had teh sun not chose to be a bum like me and hide behind the clouds. oh well. some things u juz cant change.
crucified.
laid behind a stone.
u laid to die.
rejected and alone.
like a rose.
trampled on the ground.
u took the fall.
and thought of me.
above all.
really sad i cant go prayer and praise. oh well. shant drag on about it. live life=) ill be doing it in my own lil wayyy. accept life and its circumstances and stop being a lil kid. at times like this i felt that ive nv grown up at all. but yet. i feel so.. big. yet so small. weird lar. juz plain weird.
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